Thursday, February 17, 2011
I would have done anything in the world for her, if she had only ever asked nicely. I sigh, expelling the feeling from my body. My heart thumps rhythmically against my chest, the only indication that I'm actually alive. I close my eyes and imagine shrinking to a size that reflects my value as a being. I shrink until I'm merely a single particle, floating through the air with a million other lost souls. I roam the earth via airwaves until they carry me into the troposphere. From this vantage point, a breathtaking view of the universe is lain out before me. I watch in awe as a comet cascades across the infinite black expanse, gleaming brilliantly and leaving every star to wane in its path. My heart skips a beat. In a universe where love does not exist, where beings do not attract to one another, this light is the closest thing to what she once was to me. I eject from the troposphere, leaving behind all of the other empty anima. I tumble and twirl through the atmosphere until at last I rise into the great dark depths. It is mesmerizing. In the place between worlds, nothing and everything exists. I find my bearings and shoot after the beautiful beam. I race through the galaxy until suddenly the comet blazes past, inches from me, illuminating me with an invigorating heat. My heart falters. The comet's tail catches me and I am flying through the universe in its wake. The ride is thrilling, albeit turbulent. We zip around the earth and she glows and glimmers as we catch the moonlight. Suddenly she changes coarse, heading directly toward a massive black hole. We break the ominous barrier and go roaring into its depths. As quickly as the comet snatched me up, I am expelled from her tail. I try to orient myself. Once I do, I come to see where she has dropped me. Dozens of of dazzling comets fill my vision. Some are small and swift, others spark and sizzle, and still others glow in a range of beautiful pigments. Gazing at the intricate light show before me, I come to an understanding. My heart pitter-pats against my chest, reminding me that understanding means nothing in a world of fantasy. I open my eyes to reality and take a steadfast step forward.