Saturday, January 29, 2011

Rhyme 5

For when it all becomes real
When the fairy tale ends
Words sharper than steel
The intention deepens
Defenses are breached
There is no place to hide
Though earnestly I beseech
As the comets collide
They crash all around
Dreams dropped from the sky
Fiery sparks surround
They bring me alive
In this chaotic show
I find a mysterious lure
That which I cannot know
I would like to tour
Vulnerable at every step
Yet I can't help myself
No dream as I've slept
Has given such wealth
Flames jump from the ruin
Passion is abound
They'll lick me up soon
And in rapture, I'll drown

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rhyme 4

You're the apple of my eye
My sun in the sky
Skin of a goddess
I can't help the itch
To touch, to kiss
No one warned me
Wear your heart on your sleeve
You must take heed
Of weathering
With no rules to obey
And no words to say
How what goes on inside
Is stronger than the tide
I lose all control
Yet I still pay the toll
For all that's said and done
...But you're still the one.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Rhyme 3

Look to the West and what do I see
A monarch butterfly chasing after me
Vivid orange wings that glow in the light
As the sun sets behind, it's a brilliant sight
A gradient of color smeared in the sky
The beauty alone could arrest my eye
Low on the horizon, a treacherous deep blue
Devours the spectrum of color, erasing the view
As night claims the sky, the stars come alight
The night roaming creatures begin to take flight
I lay on my back in this vast desert plain
Where all is quiet, peaceful and sane
Land caresses my body, a mattress of dust
And I find a warm blanket in the soothing gust
Of wind tucked lightly around me as I lay
While high up above comets cascade and play
The freedom and power could make me weep
So I close my eyes and begin to count sheep
And as the darkness ingurgitates me
I am no more than the horizon, I see.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Rhyme 2

Strike a match and throw it down
Watch as my kingdom burns to the ground
The flames of desire smolder to ash trails of lust
And in this freedom, I feel a fiery trust
I trust in the Greek and the might god Zeus
Who, in fear of man's power, split us in two
Condemned to roam earth, incomplete
Always in search of that missing piece
Baby, I didn't know I was broken in half
Until that first time I heard you laugh
Saw your eyes gleam with joy and delight
It was by far the most beautiful sight
I lost something then that I cannot retrieve
A vital, valuable part of me
See, my heart beat so fast it flew out of my chest
And in your hands, it came to rest
See how lucky we are, you and me?
I thank my stars infinitely 
Above Zeus' wrath, there was a fate
For my soul on earth to find its mate
Together we possess the power he feared
So, baby, let's use it to engineer
A kingdom of love and harmony
A kingdom for both you and me
This kingdom exists everywhere we go
From San Francisco to Tokyo
It's really quite easy to pack and move
Because baby, my kingdom is only you.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Rhyme 1

You have the whole world in your eyes
So beautiful, I'm hypnotized
I fall in every time
But I can't say that I mind
Soaring through bright green depths
Waiting for my heart to catch
Nothing on earth feels as good
You take me where no one could
My heart hits the floor and I lose myself
Not a penny to my name, but rich in love's wealth
I could take on the world, I'm sure I could fly
Simply because I looked in your eyes

Title 5

Something is coming. A gentle vibration rumbles against the pads of my feet. I dart my head out of the eighth story window and scan the street below. The cable car is slowing to a stop at the end of the block. The miniature earthquake ceases as it pulls to a halt. I notice a faint twinkle of vibrant red light on the rear rail of the trolley. A car reluctantly closes the gap behind the trolley, slowly rolling to a stop. As the car inches forward the headlights cascade over the specific rail, cultivating the intensity of the light. It suddenly sparks orange before gradually glowing yellow. As the car scoots still closer the pinprick of light smolders through lime green to the color of pine needles to a deep shade of indigo. The car crawls ever closer and the color grows deeper, into midnight shades of blue and violet that are almost lost against the late night sky. As the violet evolves to a near blackened tone and I find the twinkle lost to my eyes, the car finally comes to a rest. I spot the cable car driver preparing to pull through the stop and continue on his way. I glance back to where I had seen my dancing rainbow flicker and just as the trolley lurches forward, a pale lavender beam shoots, reflecting off of the rail directly onto my sternum. The trolly rumbles forward and the trail of light continues to grow, unbending, from me to the train. I stare perplexed at the beam of pastel light and begin to notice it breaking its form beginning  at the trolley's end. Now halfway up the next block, the light begins to ebb and writhe through the air, twisting and twirling like smoke, lingering its way closer and closer to me. As the translucent worm wiggles up to my chest I unconsciously draw my breath in anticipation. The sharp inhalation sucks the tail of the worm into my mouth and for a moment a string of glowing light attaches like a tube from my chest into my mouth. The beam continues to curl and contort and with a sudden sharp shock, the light instantly dissipates into the cold night air. I jump at the unexpected pain and then immediately look down to the part of my chest where the light had attached as it burns with the pain of a searing sunburn. Three small black dots appear to be burned into a triangle on my skin, the flesh is welted and pink with irritation. I reach up to gently touch the markings with my finger. The moment I touch the patch of skin, however, my hand fumbles and redirects. I draw in a perplexed breath and a scorching pain illuminates my lungs. I imagine a triangular burn similar to that on my chest, engraved by the tail of the beam on my organs. I breathe an even breath and notice the comfort in the texture of the air. In fact, the air is my only source of comfort at the moment. I close my eyes and drink in its scent, engrossed in the feeling of it against my skin. The pulsating wind taps at me, trying to draw me out. A sensation of overbearing desire overwhelms me. Desperate to float through the endless night sky, I grasp through my window at an incoming gust. Inertia jerks me from the three points on my chest and I lurch forward, out the window. I fall noiselessly through the air and with a supreme exhale, my entire being begins to unravel. I open my eyes to see that lavender light winding and swirling its way out of my mouth. With each moment I can feel my body unstitching itself more and more. I feel the fabric of my body stretching into a looser and looser weave. As the stitches progressively unravel the intensity of my light begins to grow and I disperse my energy to dance through the air. I create infinite shapes, twirling and looping through the sky under no restraints. It is the first dance of freedom. My dance comes to an end and I realize that I have left my entire human being behind. I experience a debilitating panic as I realize what has happened, as I take in the impossibility of it all. I violently flare about to wake myself from what must be an intricate dream. But my efforts are for null, in my hysteria I do nothing more than convince myself of the reality of the situation as I zip and shoot through the night sky in a frenzied ball of burning light. Despair weighs heavily on top of my panic as the faces of my loved ones trickle through my thoughts. I close my eyes and allow the anguish to engulf me. Every particle of my being radiates with dejection. I bask in absolute melancholy for hours, not once opening my eyes to look at my non-being. 

Title 4

The pearly gates are donned in graffiti. “Tell Mother not to worry”, “Fuck the Man”, “Call 555-0768 for a good time”, “We’ll meet again.” I can feel the tears drying on my face, hardened trails of salt down my cheeks. I wonder if those trails of flesh will turn to sand, the way that soil does as the ocean slips across its surface time and time again. I look out at the ocean and feel my legs go weak. My stomach burns as it pushes that incorrigible lump into my esophagus. I think fresh tears begin to fall, but just as I feel the sensation of teardrop against flesh, it seems to be absorbed back in through my pores and put to some greater use, like keeping me alive. I am petrified of the sight lain out before me. When I first glanced back as I stalked down that long stretch of tunnel, the scene perplexed me, but slowly I understood. Some believe that the afterlife exists in the sky, while others insist that it resides in the earth itself, and still others retain that it is split between the two. However, I now find myself on the horizon. The sense that is the hardest to grow accustomed to is my altered depth perception. Gazing across the infinite expanse of water and land in front of me, I can clearly make out the image of my own posterior, fringed in a white glow. It’s like checking out my behind in a mirror, except no mirror is necessary. But it is the realization that I am at that unreachable place, the end of the rainbow, which makes me weak in the knees.

I can’t decide what to write on the gate. I always wished that I was a good artist. I look to the left and low on the smooth white surface is a small bucket of painting implements, hanging from a rusted nail. I reach for it and overshoot, my hand sliding down the wall so quickly that I don’t have time to stop my face from crashing into it. Damn it! The realization of the encumbrances of my new senses hits me. My head is pounding. What a fucking time for a headache. I rub my temples hard, but my hands feel like receipt paper in a hurricane, they flap uselessly, hardly even stroking my skin. I used to draw one picture that everyone seemed to like. It was a simple silhouette, vomiting a dandelion that was growing out of her heart. A black silhouette on this pristine white wall seems too morbid somehow, as if it would break the integrity of the wall. So I choose to simply draw the dandelion. The process of drawing is slow going and severely aggravating. My coordination seems compromised and my hands continue to feel insubstantial. I grit my teeth and grip the brush harder. I draw the last bit of stem, incorporating his name into the roots, as I slyly discovered that I could the very first time I drew the flower.

Shit. I forgot about him. When was the last time I saw him? Was he there when I left to come…here? Every ounce of feeling drops down to my fingertips and toes. I miss him. As my mind explodes with this realization, I can feel the bands of my heart stretching taut. In Greek mythology, human beings originally had four arms and four legs. However, in fear of their power, Zeus split them apart, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other half. Damn the Greeks! My better half is too far and I can feel the strain take its toll as my heart tries to stretch the chasm between us. My breathing falters. It feels as though Zeus himself has a locked grip on either side of my heart and is pulling with all his godly might. I can feel his fists clenching my lungs as he wrenches his hands apart. I choke out pure black smoke and suck in a sea of random images. A flash of a homeless crack head screaming for drugs amidst oncoming traffic. A snippet of my sister’s blue and bulbous ankle after she rolled it jogging down a mountain trail. The picture of his face the first time he said I love you. A glimpse of him and her after he told me that they had shared a night together…It’s gone. All feeling is gone. Zeus has either suddenly let go, or  squeezed so hard that I have imploded. I can’t feel anything. I can’t feel anything! The image of him and her sharing a kiss…My eyes snap open to extinguish the scene. The dandelion fills my vision. Simultaneously, a movie real clicks on in the back of my head. It rolls over and over again, projecting that hideous clip onto the back of my eyes. I can feel it burning there, just waiting for my eyes to close so that it can consume my mind once again. It would be like turning out the lights in a movie theatre, to close my eyes now would turn my entire world into a creation of the imagination, only this is a feature film that is too real, too morose, too heart breaking. So I stare. I stare at all of the elegant graffiti. “Please remember me”, “Don’t look down”, “Someone save Temptation”. And then, separate from the rest, unassertive and almost boring on the edge of the gate…
“Years may fly
and tears my dry
But my love for you
will never die.”
I know tears are falling. Why can’t I feel them? God damn it, I miss her so much. Why didn’t I remember that I miss her until now? I wanted to live for her. I wanted to live by her. The lump in my throat is growing, metastasizing…I can hardly breathe. A chill clings to my spine, then spreads through my bones like wildfire. I can feel goose bumps growing in its wake, until every inch of my body is consumed by numb nothingness. Once again, I am entrenched in it, in such an absolute loss of feeling. I am empty. Why do I feel this way so much of the time? Or rather, why do I not feel so much of the time? I’m a waste. A skeleton with no potency, an empty frame. I close my eyes in shame. The reel clicks back on. My imagination is livelier than my being. But I have no time to dwell on this, as my attention is grasped by the movie showing. Him and her, laying together…I feel my heart flutter back to life, and a steely strength chases the chill away. I feel the lump in my throat begin a disperse and painfully dissolve as the acid tries to crawl its way out of my stomach. A swift kick to the gut sends my eyes flying open and my mouth releases a mighty and horrific sound as the acid pools. The scream emanates with such strength and such torment that it bends and cracks against the pearly bars to resonate tones that would vanquish eardrums and punch holes in the brain. But it doesn’t touch me. It wavers through me and then melts down into the ocean. It is raw feeling. I look down at my toes to watch the final, deafening sound wave seep from my feet and explode the ocean into a tumultuous whirlpool.

Title 3

My toes wiggle in the open air. The slight movement causes my body to waver; I teeter backwards to keep myself from falling over the edge. The serrated edge of the cliff wall digs into the arches of my feet. I wiggle my toes precariously, daring my body to betray me and pitch forward. A vast sea lingers hundreds of meters below, stretching past the horizon into eternity. Frothy white caps perturb the dingy green water. I try to keep my gaze level to keep from compromising my balance. A soft breeze brushes my ankles and I instinctively drop my eyes. The disorientation is instantaneous. A quick glance of my feet overhanging the jagged cliff face, waves crashing far below and sending tentacles of mist shooting upward, before an unconsciously violent jerk sends me sprawling backwards toward hard granite. As I splay through the air, my feet attempt to swing beneath me, to catch me, however the reaction is too quick and I cannot stop it before my feet are torn open on the ragged rock ridge. My boney bum crashes into the callous granite, but it is nothing compared to the torment of my slashed feet. Blood pools at my feet, staining my calves crimson. The salty sea air causes my wounds to tingle in an intriguing sensation. I am mesmerized by the vast amount of blood flowing from me and I cannot help but stare, even as my skin grows pale and cold. When the blood begins to drip over the cliff, I feel the weakness overtake me. I slump back onto the rock. It takes a moment's preparation to gather all of my energy and roll onto my side to view the sea. My position is perilous, balancing on only a shoulder and a hip while my tattered feet sway out into the open air. Cracking a small, faithful smile, I quiver just enough to send my body rolling over the edge. I fall helplessly through stagnant air. The cliff face is so close that I can see the minerals glittering within the stone. Without warning, a breeze encircles my ankles again. It flows away, only to whip back, a thousand times more forceful. I am suddenly overcome with astonishment as I realize that the breeze is now carrying me, sending me gliding toward the choppy surface of the water. I whirl around to face the sea head on. With an imperceptible splash, I plunge into the murky green depths.

Title 2

I gaze up at the charcoal gate before me. It is massive, towering above and engulfing me in its cryptic shadow. Despite the queer quivers of heat that radiate through the iron, my body shivers and convulses beyond my control. An ice-cold trickle caresses my spine. Anticipation? Fear? Guilt? I mentally check off all of the above. I do not know what lies beyond the metal barricade before me and I am not prepared to enter. I move my gaze upward, past the reaches of the ominous gate. A sorrowful sky lingers far above, casting a dim grey over the entire world. The clouds coil and writhe together, creating an opaque veil. There is nothing around me but the gate and the grey. I am all that exists; therefore I must not exist. I can feel a tug in my chest, the gate beckoning me forward, luring me to enter. The emptiness, the loneliness that surrounds me is Hell enough. A flame sparks to life within me. Furiously, I contemplate the fate that lies behind the vast barrier. I am certain of the broiling flames that await me, their incandescence envelopes me even where I stand. A small panic rises from my gut as my intuition draws the conclusion. My fate, my destiny beyond the gate is an illusion. Behind the metal lies the same hollow, harrowing world. I was right; this is Hell. A disconcerting calm overtakes me as I accept this destiny. I close my eyes and before I can think, I shove the gate open and step into the fire of my isolated mind.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Title 1

The grass crumbles against the balls of my bare feet as I run up the green knoll. I can't discern if the ground is damp or if it's just an illusion of the cold. My cutoff shorts and t-shirt don't even try to protest the cold, it easily seeps through the cloth. One step after another, I concentrate fully on simply moving forward. My feet crunch against new patches of grass, smothering the unlucky blades that fall in their path. I wonder if the tiny blades are capable of cutting my feet. If I step at just the right angle, will a thousand, microscopic needles slice my flesh open? The thought wavers through my mind, seemingly inconsequential. But the train continues forth. If I tear my foot open on the grass, how much blood will seep out? Will it be enough to end the uncontrollable spasms that shudder my bones every few steps? Will it be enough to stop my heart beating? My emotions waver and I can feel my careful indifference, my quintessential numbness, slip ever so slightly. I rush to re-conceal my mind within its cottony haven, to extinguish the haphazard thoughts that all lead to the same destination. Despite my carefully calculated mental discernment, I cannot control my body. It shakes and spasms, appearing to any onlooker as though I am possessed. But I know better. The goose bumps on my arms can only be one thing; my soul trying to escape, trying to out run this body that cannot run fast enough. I wish it could succeed, to escape the hollowed walls of my body as they reverberate masochism. It is a prison.