Monday, February 7, 2011
Where is my mind? Eyes closed, I tumble disoriented through the darkness. It is a darkness I don't know. I grasp for your hand beside me. Wake me. Bring me back to reality. My fingers struggle to find your arm, your torso, any part of you at all. An icy strap cinches around my lungs and I sharply exhale a delicate frost. The snowy particles of breath glow against the sheer blackness. They disperse to sprinkle the dark with minute stars. I stare in awe while thousands of the flakes gently float toward one distinct point in the darkness. They fall like bricks, one on top of the other until they have all compressed to form one solid block of ice. Suddenly, a brilliant white light illuminates the black world from within the icy mass. My vision is shocked as it remains suspended in the blinding light. As quickly as the light appeared, it is extinguished. My shell shocked eyes plummet back into the opaque and the block of ice is still glowing before me. I step toward the ice, noticing a curious shadow deep in the core of the block. Wandering cautiously forward, a figure begins to take shape. Ten strides out, my heart drops to the floor. I freeze- meaning that I both instantly cease all movement and a frigid draft raises every hair on my body. My heart catches and lurches forward, racing at fifty times its normal pace. From within the icy rock the most beautiful, mesmerizing eyes gaze at me. In that moment, I consciously decide to give it all up. I will not seek my way from the blackness. The allure and intrigue of the incapsulated is overpowering. I concentrate my thoughts entirely on the block of ice, willing it to melt away. I strain every last neuron before I notice a small puddle forming at the base of the block. Instant ecstasy shoots through my body and the rush of adrenaline evokes an arctic surge as the block is immediately liquified. The glacial wave crashes over me, but the incandescent fire that illuminates my soul renders me immune to it. I step toward the figure in front of me, drawn in by some unknown force. This is my destiny. I stop, toe to toe, and peer into those steely blue eyes. Locked in this eternal gaze, we gradually move together. The moment our flesh meets, my icy heart shatters into a million pieces.